Ruminating Slav

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Every last one!

Merry Christmas, internets! My gift to you as we celebrate this day of rampant consumerism is ...

A link to my tumblr RSS feed!

I just discovered this tumblr thing a few days ago, and I can't promise that I'll keep it up, but it seems like a nice compromise between the too-much aspect of the blog, and the not-quite-enoughness of twitter.

Wherein you, the reader, are redirected

Oh, hi! You still here? I, as you may have noticed, have not been. I've had shockingly little desire to blather on about myself for the past few months. Maybe it's temporary. Maybe not. Who knows! I am full of surprises that way. Either way, I'm still paying the rent over here so don't go and chuck your Slav RSS feed out the window just yet.

Speaking of, though I may not be currently gracing you with bon mots a-plenty, I am still taking plenty of photos. So if you are of the sort who would like to keep up with my goings-on (or of the sort who enjoys macro shots of Crap In My Yard), you can add my flickr RSS feed to your Bloglines (warning: flickr feed tends to skew kid-heavy). I'm attempting to get into the habit of posting a few sentences with every photo I post, so it's like a mini blog-post plus photo in one! Slav Lite! Admit it -- you love it.

objects in mirror may be closer than they appear

objects in mirror may be closer than they appear, originally uploaded by *Karo*.

A little bit of this, a little bit of that

So BK's been out of town a lot this month. Baxter was very excited to have him back this weekend.



What has the Slav been up to, you ask? Well! I hope you're sitting down. After I read Harry Potter #7 I was so sad and woeful about the series being over that I went back and read all seven books in a row. After that I was all excited about reading so I read all 13 Stephanie Plum mysteries. I figured this Janet Evanovich couldn't be all bad if she was publicly admitting to reading Buffy Season 8. Now I'm itching to sink my teeth into another thoughtless yet not completely crap mystery series. Suggestions?

Last night BK tried to take me out to eat for my birthday, but seeing as he hadn't actually made any reservations the waiter at Bijoux laughed at us when we strolled in and asked for a table. We ended up at Rouge, which served surprisingly good tapas. I also limited myself to two sangrias, which, as anyone who's ever been around me when I've consumed too much sangria can vouch for, is a very good thing. Then we saw Superbad, which was good fun. I enjoyed all 186 uses of the word "fuck."

This week marks my last week of employment before my shit-canning goes into effect. I guess that's a little bit of boo and yay combined. I've had a laid-off version of senioritis since I heard the news, so it'll be nice to not have to do work seasoned with resentment any more. But then, no more paycheck, however meager. This week we're also tagging along with BK on a business trip to NYC, which should be nice for a change of pace. It might even be cool enough to go outside, something we haven't experienced in the post-8 am hours for months here in Texas. Central Park, here we come!

Our morning

gleeful step, originally uploaded by *Karo*.

Feces, feces everywhere.
I peel off his poopy pajamas and
Give him a bath. Breakfast time!
Oh, the screaming.
Screaming screaming screaming, no no no, I don't
Know what I was thinking, demanding
That he eat at the table that he's been obsessed with
Since delivery. Where do you want breakfast?
Yum yum yum at the coffee table, eating eating,
The dog eats the rest of his food. Fantastic.
Drive to day care.
Will you go inside the room? No! No no no, throw
Yourself down on the ground,
Oh the humanity my god
The humanity.

Nary a photo for miles

Oh, you little turkeys being fattened up for Thanksgiving. The things that I have to tell you. Where to start? Let's start with my health, shall we? Always a crowd favorite. I have been to the doctor no less than three times in the past two weeks: once for a high fever combined with non-trauma related back pain, another time for low fever and chest pain, and today for low fever coupled with the most awful, terrible, no-good headache I've ever had in my thirty years. Blood has been drawn, I have had a chest x-ray and an EKG, and the diagnoses have been: virus, virus (and try taking some heartburn relief), and sinus infection. I'm fairly certain I did not run to the doctor with heartburn, cause let me tell you -- I've been pregnant, so I know about the heartburn, and this wasn't it. I'm a little baffled by the sinus infection diagnosis since I've had no cold symptoms whatsoever, but what do I know, right? I'm just a soon-to-be-unemployed "web specialist." As long as I don't have unbelievable, throbbing pain whenever I move my head, I'm a happy camper.

Sort of tangential to my health is my kid's health, which has sucked donkey balls since he started daycare almost two months ago. Universe, I know this is what I get for keeping him in the bubble for the first 18 months, but ENOUGH ALREADY. The poor kid is sick every 10 days, for god's sake. Let's give him a bit of a breather before flu season rolls around, ok?

Here is some good news! Operation Lifestyle Change is still in effect, and I am 1/3 of the way to my goal, even though I haven't been able to exercise the past two weeks what with the shivering and the painful breathing. BK is very eggshelly about the whole endeavor and generally responds with silence or fearful platitudes when I say things like "I've lost another pound!" -- the fear of enraging the woman stereotype within, I 'spose. However, yesterday he baked some cookies (oh, that domestic BK) and as I was shoving one into my maw he had no problem heartily belting out, "So, when are you getting back on that treadmill?" Oh, BK. You rascal.

I have become obsessed with finding the perfect purse. I'm not sure what planted this particular seed, but I am a woman on a mission and apparently the mission involves ordering hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of purses online and then returning them. I know the interwebs are all a-quiver to find out what I deem to be the perfect purse, so I'll keep you posted.

A new car! BK's lease is about to run out and he was threatening to get another dread CR-V, so I dragged him to the Volvo dealership under duress, promising streets lined with savings. He went in to look at sedans and drove away in a ... station wagon! Just in case you weren't 100% certain if our youth was completely dead and buried, you now have your answer.

BK is in LA right now. Next week he goes again, and then to NYC. Then he goes to LA again. And then he goes to NYC twice. But then! Then he promises a vacation! I think we're going to go to the Caymans again (see above re: dead youth). And then! Then there's BK's annual fancy work retreat, which will be in Vegas this year, somewhere I've never been. Pro: staying at the Ritz in Vegas. Con: staying at the Ritz in Vegas with kid. It's also the same weekend the Buffy Sing-a-Long finally comes to Dallas, goddamit. Speaking of: I did not win the dinner with Joss Whedon auction. I was only $8,000 short, too. So close!

Ah, sweet mystery of life

Ah, sweet mystery of life, originally uploaded by *Karo*.

iGeek

What's new, pussycats? This weekend I drove down to Austin to attend my very-first Buffy Sing-a-Long, and holy crap, how much fun was that? Copious amounts of alcohol were consumed all day long, but I'm pretty sure that sitting among my people belting out, "You're the cutest of the Scoobies with your lips as red as rubies and your firm yet supple ... tight embrace!" would have been just as much fun stone-cold sober. Along similarly nerdular lines, Joss Whedon is selling himself on eBay. I plan on bidding my final paycheck, which, let's face it, might win me a glimpse of the back of Joss' head while nibbling on a cocktail weenie in the broom closet of the restaurant where the winning bidders will be wined and dined. By Joss Whedon.

So I've been watching the new Doctor Who, internets, and man alive, is it ever good. Yes, yes, go ahead and get the pointing and snickering out of your system. Rest assured that my husband sees to it that I am properly shamed every time I put on an episode. Because clearly, Mr. I-Own-Ever-Batman-Comic-Since-1962 can talk.

Are we all properly Depends-clad for tomorrow's iPhone launch? Doubly useful for both fanboy/girl squee-leaks, and for not having to leave your place in line in front of the Apple store (unless you're the chump who hired this guy, in which case, I hope he puts his shirt back on in time for the hand-off). I have called AT&T to switch my service over (promotional goodies for being a long-distance and DSL customer, don'cha know) and they're FedEx'ing me a SIM card along with a free Razr which they could not be talked out of sending. Don't think the irony of being force-fed 2004's hot cell phone for free while eagerly waiting to drop hundreds of dollars on this year's hot cell phone is lost on me. Cause it 'taint.

Good news -- daycare has been going well for Baxter! Which is good news for me since it means I don't have to spend my 12 precious free hours a week being riddled with guilt. Instead I get to do things like slog along on the treadmill and eat canned tuna fish drizzled with lemon. You got it, time for a Lifestyle Change. I have high hopes -- pounds are being dropped and self-respect is being restored. It's actually easier than I thought it would be since I'm not nearly as tempted as I would have been pre-Baxter when we went out to eat a lot more. So there you go, gentle readers, I'm putting it out there and making it official. Now the shame will keep me motivated because I hate talking about something and then not following through.

Finally, as you can see on the left, I've joined the Twitter revolution. What's that you say? The Twitter revolution was in 2006? Oh well. If I manage to get an iPhone, just imagine the inane details of my life that you'll be subjected to: "Sitting at a red light on the way to the bank!" or "Watching my kid wander around the park and pick up cigarette butts!"

I know. I can hardly wait.

Laid back off ... with my mind on my money and my money on my mind

Yesterday I drove up to work because my boss wanted to talk to me about summer projects. Turns out that summer plans involve doing the Dread Annual Report again, immediately followed by being shitcanned. Noice. Three out of the six positions in my departments (that's 50% for all you mathletes out there) are being eliminated, mine being one of the lucky three. So my advice to you, internets, is, if you want it to rain, get your car washed. And if you want to get laid off, enroll your kid in daycare so you can get more work done.

Speaking of daycare, today was introductions day over at the JCC. Songs were sung in Hebrew, and camp t-shirts were passed out. Also, tears fell copiously from the little red-rimmed eyes belonging to my son, who spent the whole hour piteously tugging on my shirt and begging, "Up! Up!" I'm not sure why he was so freaked out since he didn't know WTF was going on -- maybe because BK has taken him to the JCC a few times to work out and left him in the babysitting room there? In any case, next week is going to be quite traumatic for the little dude if today was any indication. Update: Baxter woke up from his nap with an over-103° fever, so I think I have my answer.

Yesterday I made Pecan Crusted Chicken Tenders and Salad with Tangy Maple Dressing for dinner. My first batch of tenders turned out just fine, and then all culinary hell broke loose. The oil got too hot, chicken started burning, the smoke started smoking, and the fire alarm that's connected to the security system started whoop-whoop-whooping. Whoopy! All the doors and window were open, the fans were going, and the alarm was blaring in exactly 2½ minute intervals. We finally had to call the security company and have them reset the system cause momma didn't need no 150-second reminders about what a failure she was in the kitchen.

Mongeese, it is time for me to make a public apology to Neil Patrick Harris. Some time ago I viciously maligned his television show. How wrong I was! Not only am I now a big fan of How I Met Your Mother, but I think I may have a teeny-weeny crush on Barney Stinson. Seriously, WTF? What is it with me and the fictional assholes?

buster, originally uploaded by *Karo*.

In other news, I got my news lens! And I'm in the process of switching over from iPhoto to Aperture and the steep software learning curve is hurting my soft, soft sedentary brains. And I haven't even started shooting in RAW yet, sheesh. Hey, on the bright side, I'll have something to keep me busy while I'm officially unemployed and Baxter is in daycare. What's that? You thought that come the end of July when I'm out of work I'd quit with the daycare? Hahahahahaha.

You'd be wrong.

Also, my kid hates fingerpainting with the fire of one thousand suns:

oh my god what have you done?!?!, originally uploaded by *Karo*.

I dare you to look at Baxter's expression in this photo and not cackle out loud. Dare you.